youre_skitting_mefandomcom-20200213-history
Bear Cub
Description This sketch revolves around the mishaps of Bear Grylls, who tries to teach us how to avoid doing work or doing anything else that anyone tells him to. First Series Surviving Parent's Party! It begins that Jeremy stands outside his house and does his introduction. He knows that parents parties are dull and boring, he says "But it is possible to survive one. And I'm about to show you how." He explains that at dinner you are often stuck next to are really boring friend of your dad's who wants to tell you what it was like when he was a kid. Then his dad's friend explains when he was like Jeremy they didn't have video recorders and they had to wait for a week to see a TV program and if you've missed well that was it and he tells Jeremy that he and all the other kids were all so lucky. Then Jeremy says "This guy is a total yawn." and tells the audience that the only way out of a situation like this is to fashion a gag to cover his mouth. To cover his dad's boring friend he uses one of his chopped up potatoes and a napkin. He simply places the potato in the mouth and ties a napkin to the back of his head. After his mouth was shut, he finally gets to have some peace and quiet also enjoy his dinner, much to the family's displeasure. In the lounge room he was crawling behind the sofa where several of his parents friends are standing between himself and that fizzy drink bottle of cola. If tries to walk through them he'll be asked all sorts of boring questions e.g. like how's school?, what's your favourite subject? and why you don't have any friends? He picks up his mother's best palm leaves from the garden as a camouflage, then he has to strap it to his back and move across the floor undetected in order to get the cola. He was making good progress, until Mr. Peterson spots him and had a little quick chat, before continuing. Then his mother spots Jeremy and she wants to know if that was her best palms he took from their garden, he admitted it and apologized to her. Angrily his mother ordered Jeremy to go to his room. Just before he concludes the episode he tells the audience that he gets to drink his own urine instead, which makes him happy. Surviving Family Holidays It begins that Jeremy stands outside his neighbors houses and does his introduction. He knows that holidays with your family are dull and boring, he says "But it is possible to survive one. And today I'm about to show you how." He explains that his father has almost finishing packing for their holiday in the wild and they are heading to a camp site up the coast. In order to survive the 4 hour drive he must secure himself a window seat, his brother and sister are circling ready to make their move as well. All he can do now, is wait until dad gives the signal. As their father sounded the car horn a few times, they all moved out. As they were fighting for a window seat, Jeremy didn't notice his sister went to the other side. He was thinking of trying to go the other side, but he was too slow because his sister got there before him, he tries to make her sister move, but she said "No way. Climb over me." He tries to tell his father, but he tells him to get in the car and quiet down. As he was crawling to the middle seat, he accidentally sat on her sisters ice-cream. He complains that his bottom is wet and his sister tells their father that Jeremy sat on his ice-cream, he tries to explain that he didn't mean to and their dad tells Jeremy to settle down for heaven's sake. While Jeremy has hiding in a bush he explains that they finally made it to the camp site. Behind him, his family was setting up the tent and tells the audience that any minute now his father is going to ask him to help. He explains you must avoid this at all costs, that it sucks your energy and it's really boring. He explains how to blend in, that you must keep still, calm and above all quiet. While he was still talking, Jeremy's father interrupted and tells him to get out of the bush and help his family set up. Jeremy tries to stay still in the bush, but his father can still see him and he can hear him as well. He also tries to ignore him and go away, his dad tells Jeremy that if he keeps ignoring him he won't get any dinner. Unfortunately he had no choice to help, much to his dismay. Some time later, his family was playing Monopoly. Jeremy says "When you're on holidays there's nothing more boring than playing board games." He explains how to avoid it, is to cover yourself in stinking animal feces, but he doesn't have a dead animal so he'll have to find another way. So he uses a bin bag from the rubbish as a replacement. All he has to do is to slice it open and rub himself in it and no one will want to come near him or him anywhere near them. After he was covered himself in garbage, his family was disgusted by this and his mother was thinking of going to the fun park and Jeremy should stay behind. Jeremy wants to come, but his father doesn't want him in the car, due to his bad smell. Just before they left his sister tells him that he has jam in his hair. Jeremy says to his sister "Shows what you know.", he licks it and it was revealed to be relish. He concludes the episode with a sad face. Work Experience It begins that Jeremy stands inside an office building and does his introduction. He explains that there's only one thing that's more tedious than being stuck at school it's being sent out on work experience. He says "But it is possible to survive it. And I'm gonna show you how." While he's hiding behind his work desk he explains that surviving in an office is more challenging than outdoors. He explains about the "Office Worker" is our natural enemy and must be avoided at all costs because they corner you. The boss shows up to Jeremy and gives him some work to do, he has to collect the documents and staple them, also give them to Margaret by 1pm also the boss says to him "There's a boy". Then Jeremy asks a question to the boss "Do I have to?" and responds to him back by saying "I'm you wanna grow up to be like me you do." also Jeremy says to the audience "It's a jungle in here." Next, he went into the Stationery room to make a camouflage out of cardboard boxes. He heads out into the office and see how it works, so far it was going brilliantly, he believes they have no chance of finding him or making him do anything else. But, the boss spots him and says "Make a pot of tea for the Boardroom. Thanks Jeremy." Unfortunately Jeremy's camouflage wasn't good enough and says to the audience "OK, so sometimes even the best laid plans don't work out." before he trips over and loses his cardboard box helmet. In the staff kitchen he has one more trick installed, he heads to the men's toilet with the teapot and pees in it. He says to the audience "OK, lets see how it works." He knocks on the door and brings in the "tea", along with the cups, the boss says "Ah, thank you Jeremy." and responds to him back by saying "My pleasure. Enjoy." As Jeremy walks out, he closes the door slowly and tells everyone to "Shh." He smiles and hears the boss say "Ugh.", one of the ladies said "Oh, I'm gonna be sick." and the boss "JEREMY!" It turns out the Urine in the teapot trick was a success and the only thing for Jeremy to do now, is run for his life. As he was leaving, angrily the boss said "JEREMY! Get back here." and the other staff members were all after him just before concluding the episode. Category:Sketches Category:Multiple Cast Member Sketches Category:Reocurring Sketches Category:Jake's Sketches Category:First Series Sketches